Post Aran Knitting Depression

It's a terrible disease this. You spend weeks working on a "complex" project, finish it, are thrilled, high for a day or two and then you hit rock bottom. Horrid. Why? Mostly because it seems like after that, everything else should just be easy, but that's when the knitting gods have the most fun. They make everything you think you'll just whip out with ease go absolutely, horribly wrong.

Yes, it's the Knitting Gods. I swear it is. It couldn't possibly be my fault. - Just in case you still think it is my fault, see disclaimer in my entry a few weeks ago about how blame is fairly distributed on others, but never on oneself. Hey, if they're doin' it, I can too.

I'm making, you guessed it, more socks. Oh the surprise of it all! Hope I didn't give anyone a heart attack with the shock of that announcement. I would feel ever so guilty - and then I'd blame it on the radio program that's running whilst you are reading thing. See above note about blame. Anyway, socks shouldn't be difficult. I’ve done enough of them in my knitting career that I can now do them blindfolded. Change the number of stitches though, and I’m screwed. Math is not my strong point. It’s actually such a weak point that it really just fails to be a point at all. This does not bode well for my socks. They go just fine up until I get to the heel and then it all goes wrong (cue laughing Knitting Gods). You can’t do an alternating k, sl1 pattern for the heel flap with an odd number. It just doesn’t work since you need to end on a knit. Then you have to figure out when to turn the heel for the first time. Once you’ve finished the heel, the gusset slaps you in the face by forcing you to figure out how to evenly distribute an odd number of stitches on your needles whilst still having the middle where it should be and not off a stitch. That one just makes my brain hurt just thinking about it. Finally you get to the toe where you also suddenly have an odd number of stitches. This is, in itself, not a problem, except that you’re trying to find the middle of the bloody toe so the seam is in the middle. This cannot be done exactly with an odd number. Bugger that for a lark.

Combine all of this and you get the Winging It socks. Yeah, it looks like a sock and yeah, it fits on the foot, so yay for that. Now you just have to ensure that no other knitter ever looks at that pair of socks. Never, ever. A decent knitter will spot the mistakes at 100 yards. These are the socks that would be locked up in a room on their own somewhere if we were still living during the Victorian times. They would have to be sequestered for “their own safety”, aka to conceal the complete incompetence of the knitter and to spare them (them= both socks and knitter) further embarrassment. Nowadays they are simply socks to be worn under shoes where no one can see them. They must be kept hidden at all costs lest they frighten people. Only the very best of friends and relatives will ever be allowed within seeing distance of these socks. Showing them to people will become an honour because then those people will then know that they are one of the few well loved enough to be chosen to be allowed into the inner circle of those in the Know About the Socks that Failed. Ridicule of said socks will get you thrown into the Outer Circle, permanently.

Um yes, I blame the above on the drugs (I’m the current owner of some unhappy tonsils).

The point being that I am working two pair of socks at the moment and neither pair is going very well. They will get done and they will be wearable, but they will not be my best pieces. Topping it off is that I really don’t care for the yarn I chose to make the Snickets out of. There’s too much black and not enough cranberry. They should have just stuck to grey and red and life would have been fine, but no, they had to put black in there. Gah. However, since they are to be relegated to the House in the Country for fresh air and self-protection, I’m not going to bother to rip them out. They will be warm and warm is what I need.

As for the other pair, must buy KPs 2.75 circulars for socks in future. That way I can get the right gauge with a better number of stitches for sock making.

Oh yes, and just to make me even more miserable, the Knitting Gods messed with my Christmas ornaments too. I did one. It looked horrid. Will try again soon as Christmas is coming and I need small gifts for random people. I’ve also already got decorations for them. I found some brads that I can stick in the Styrofoam after pulling the knit tube on over it. They have little snowflakes and trees on them. Plus there are one or two other things I can glue onto them, so they should look spiffy – if the Knitting Gods will leave me alone that is.