Aran Sandal Socks and more Knitting Police

THEY’RE FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring not to the 9th wonder of the world, but to my Aran Sandal Socks. (I say 9th and not 8th because I’m suddenly uncertain if they might have come up with an 8th in the meantime and I would not want to suggest that my Arans eclipse a wonder like Mount Rushmore, the Taj Mahol or Tom Cruise’s single brain cell, even if they really should). After much sighing, gnashing of teeth and fixing of careless mistakes in the cable pattern, I finished them on Sun. and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them. They are warm and toasty and lovely and soft. They also help me to achieve my life’s goal of looking like a conservative desperately trying, and failing, to look hip by wearing her cabled sandal socks to work in her leather Teva sandals. Woot! I can now look back on my life and say that I achieved one of my goals. Go me.

I’ve also been mulling over the idea of the knitting police after reading the following in the Yarn Harlot’s blog entry from Oct. 19th :

The first sleeve is done, and I started the slightly tricky business of adding the front circle stitches at the same time as I start decreasing away the sleeve stitches. I started that part last night on the plane, but the cold drugs took their toll on my ability to count and I can't tell you of the multiple things I discovered wrong with it this morning when I was clean and sober.

So you see? We really do need knitting police, or at the very least one of those gadgets like they are developing for cars that can tell if you are having short blackout or if your eyes are closed. I think they’re supposed to do something to wake you up even before you fall asleep, like having your MILs voice shriek at you that your house isn’t clean enough for her baby boy who needs to have everything done for him or he will surely die a sudden and painful death caused by the effort of putting his own dirty (hand knit by you) socks in the laundry basket.

This would work for knitting too. As soon as it detects your eyes drooping or blinking more often or more slowly than usual, your MIL will ensure that you are jolted awake again with a rapidity that rivals the TGV. This has the added benefit of ensuring that you will not continue knitting in this state because most of us have more than enough of our MILs in real life and do not need to hear any more diatribes on the hygienic state of our husband’s underwear, which surely should be washed by hand in 110° water, dried in the fresh air so it smells nice and then ironed to make sure it looks neat enough for him to be hit by a bus without embarrassment - after we’ve picked it up off the floor ourselves that is. (my own ex-MIL is exempt from this as she is lovely. I would like to have kept her, just not her son).

I’m sure there are those of you out there who would object to this because not only do you knit whilst out to dinner with friends, in the movie theatre and while waiting in line at the bank, you knit in your sleep as well. I assure you the latter might be functional, but it’s wrong. Just wrong. Knitting is your hobby. Hobby people, hobby. Try and remember this. One of the basic requirements of enjoying your hobby is being awake for it, of which your MIL would surely love to remind you.

Now I just have to figure out how to police taste and colour usage so we never have a repeat of the 70s...