As Knitting is Dangerous

Finally! I finally got to the end of the raglan increases on the Eris and have duly split the sleeves off and am working on the body. I now have about 100 rounds of stockinet to knit. That’s 17’000 plus stitches. Pros: Mindless knitting with no real possibility of mistakes. You cannot screw up stockinet *dodges lightning bolt* *prays to knitting gods* Cons: 17’000 plus stitches of stockinet and only stockinet. Need I say more? Still, I will make the best of it and put in a good DVD to knit to (telly is awful at the moment). Should go fairly quickly. I hope. As long as I don’t have to dodge too many lightning bolts.

I realized today whilst replying to Yarnerinas' blog, where she very kindly lists me as a blog she enjoys on a regular basis, that I need one more knitting accessory. A pair of these. Yes, safety goggles. I’m serious! Do you have any idea how scratched my glasses are becoming from being hit by flying circulars? If it weren’t for my glasses, I probably would have lost an eye by now. Indeed, some of you will remember the incident where I had to pull the needle out from between my eye socket and the eye ball. I was wearing glasses at the time, thus the safety goggles. Goggles, unlike my glasses, are closed at the top and bottom so the needles cannot fly under your glasses and into your eye. Must get a pair. Maybe I could even buy in bulk, decorate with various themes and then sell them to other accident prone knitters through an etsy shop. I could cover the tops and bottoms with decorations, and leave the front open so you could still see your knitting. Oooo! I could even market them as Christmas-Knitting aids! Being blinkered would help you focus on your knitting and only your knitting. What more could you want when it’s getting close to Christmas? Protection, decoration and focus all in one small package. Discounts to those who by the Drooping Eyelid Alarm with Sooper MIL Sound at the same time. Now that I would have to call the Christmas-Knitting Gift Package.

In non-knitting news, it’s tick season again. Oh the joy. Time to gear up for my reoccurring tick nightmare. The following is not for the squeamish: I’m in a posh hotel room with a bunch of other people. At some point I sneak the dogs in and then back out again. They go unnoticed, but leave a full tick behind. Now when I remove a tick from the dog in real life, I burn it to make sure it’s dead and gone. Sometimes they expand a bit and then pop. So, in the dream, I get out a lighter and start to burn this tick. The only problem is that it starts expanding rapidly and doesn’t stop until it’s about twice as tall as I am. People are running out of the room trying to get away while I’m standing there panicking and trying to think of how to get this tick out of the room as quickly as possible. Flushing it down the toilet is out because it’s too big for anyone’s toilet excepting maybe the Jolly Green Giant’s (Don’t even get me started on his sewage system. We don’t want to go there. No. Wrong. Just wrong.). Anyway, I’m panicking and getting nowhere. Then it explodes. There are sticky tick innards and blood everywhere and I’m desperately trying to clean it up before the hotel staff notice. Um, yeah, like they aren’t going to notice the bloody towels. Anyway, I usually wake up in a panic about this tick and how I’m going to get it all cleaned up. It’s horrible. I hate ticks, but then, I don’t actually think I’ve ever met anyone who likes the disgusting little parasites, or at least anyone who would admit to it anyway.

You all really wanted to know that, didn’t you? Thought so.

Oh no! I just had a thought! What if a tick finds it's way into my yarn and has babies! Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh! I think I have a new nightmare coming on.